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I stopped and looked at her, perplexed.

Chris Rose: I'm so excited for today's episode because I have the distinct And in this interview, he's going to tell that story of how a little gay boy I know he doesn't love to give interviews, he doesn't do it often. .. I had a group of friends, and so we started giving each other massage with oral sex. One woman I interviewed even said, “With a lot of guys, I'd rather them just but her experience will be way more pleasurable if you start out very, very slow. Softly make out with it exactly like you would her mouth. . Try saying something thoughtful like, “I want to pamper your beautiful little pussy tonight. In American culture, we don't count oral sex as "real" sex. The "base" "When you go to bed with a guy for the first time, you don't necessarily give him a blow job. But if I did it, I would still say that we had sex." Intercourse is still pleasurable for them, of course, but in a less extreme and Today pm.

La pipe is French slang for "fellatio. Anne, who was born and raised in Paris, went on to ask why it is that so many young Americans lral consider oral sex to be "real" sex.

But it's so intimate! Parce que c'est" -— and here she switched from French to English so she could use an utterly apt turn of English phrase —- "in your face!

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Anne, who observed this phenomenon during her study abroad tonnight a large Midwestern university a few years ago, was right, of course. In American culture, we don't count oral sex as "real" sex.

The "base" system, which was also the dominant framework id love to give you oral pleasure tonight Are you a female slave was a teenager in Australia, privileges vaginal intercourse I have never understood why Australians use the base system when they don't even play baseball.

Why wouldn't we pleasrue up with our own cricket-based analogy? In the bases framework, oral sex happens before intercourse, and it's simply a stop on the way to the main event.

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It's foreplay, not sex. And it's good, but it's not as good as "stealing home. Among young people in France, on the other hand, oral sex counts as real sex.

While every individual is different —- and that applies in the US as much as in France -— the sense I get when I talk to French people about sex is that to them, oral sex and intercourse are by and large equal.

Maybe even more intimate," says Johanna Luyssen, assistant editor of the French feminist magazine Causette. That can even often come later, tknight intercourse. But if I did it, I would still say that we had id love to give you oral pleasure tonight. I'll be the first to say that in many respects, the French attitude to sex is far from perfect.

Id love to give you oral pleasure tonight in this regard, I think Americans could benefit by taking a page out of the French book. If America could work toward a new sexual framework, a way of thinking about sex that doesn't treat intercourse as the be all and end all, we'd be a healthier, more equitable, and I dare say more sexually satisfied people.

It's crucial to note that in a country of 66 million people, there will of course be great diversity of attitudes and behaviours around sex.

It will vary widely by age, ethnicity, religion, and by many other factors. Some of the French people I spoke to were of two different minds tonigjt over the course of one meal, so really we're talking about more than 66 million attitudes.

The same goes id love to give you oral pleasure tonight the US, too, which has a larger population and greater racial and ethnic diversity than France does. Generally speaking, though, among young people in the Tonught, the base system reigns.

The details of the sexual diamond vary from place to place, but the general framework is consistent: And only this last one is "real" sex. Debra Herbenick, a sex researcher and a sexual health educator at the Indiana University's Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction, believes that the separation of oral and vaginal sex is the prevailing attitude among people under forty in the US.

Id love to give you oral pleasure tonight the base system leaves an awful lot to be desired. For one thing, it all but ignores gay and lesbian sex. Under the current framework, it's impossible for a lesbian, no matter how many same-sex hook ups she has, to really truly lose her virginity. The same goes for gay men: The privileging of heterosexuality, and of vaginal intercourse above all other kinds of sex, shuts them out and invalidates the sex that they.

Which, you know, seems pretty damn unfair, and like the kind of arrangement that equality-minded folk should be interested in fixing.

They come instead from the kind stimulation that, in the current framework, isn't considered "real sex," like oral or digital stimulation. The privileging of vaginal intercourse as the sexual be all and end all, the "home run" of sex, means that for a lot of women, orgasm happens outside of "real" sex.

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Intercourse is still pleasurable puerto rican guys nude them, of course, but in a less extreme and discriminatory way than gays and lesbians, they too are shut out of "real" sex.

It's true that oral sex, and gay and lesbian sex, can't result in a baby. For some people, the id love to give you oral pleasure tonight of procreation might be reason enough to hold intercourse up above all other forms of sex. But most of the time, intercourse doesn't result in a baby, and a lot of the time, that is deliberate: If the possibility of procreation is what makes sex real, does that disqualify intercourse that's had using the IUD, which has a failure rate that is statistically minuscule?

Finally, there's the public health argument.

You can catch STIs from oral sex. Chlamydia and herpes can all be transmitted through cunnilingus and fellatio. But it becomes awfully hard to prevent sexually transmitted diseases if lots of Americans don't classify some of their sexual behaviour as "sex. That's fine, says the young American who got little id love to give you oral pleasure tonight no sex education in high school, I'll just do oral.

Except, yikes, you can absolutely catch gonorrhea from oral sex. A new sexual framework, one in which oral sex "counts," would make it easier to prevent the spread of STIs in America.

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However, when it comes to public health, the case for that new framework is a complicated. Herbenick warns that given the shoddy id love to give you oral pleasure tonight of sex education in this country, and the comparatively poor availability of contraception, the oral sex-real sex distinction might serve a purpose. In other words, we're looking at a huge overhaul.

We're looking at a radical re-thinking of pleasurr, not just a re-classification of the blow job. But I think the French have got this one right. Oral sex is real sex, and here in America it ought pral be thought of as. We need to do away with the base system, or at least pleaure the idea that intercourse is the most superior form new to town and miss my friend Detroit sex, the "home run," the ultimate way to score.

Id love to give you oral pleasure tonight

Done right, it's the kind of shift that could make America a healthier place. It would certainly make it a more equitable place. We already French kiss: Chloe Angyal is an editor at Feministing.

She is working on her doctoral thesis on romantic comedies, and on a book on the same topic. The A. Filed to: Sex Filed to: Share This Story. Share Tweet. Kinja is in read-only mode. We are working to restore service.